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Talk:Banished Enclaves
Seems like a good start. Now, I want some things from you if that is acceptable: 1- If you have looked at the galaxy map section of the Ruina Imperii main page (If you haven't, please look at it from here: http://wh40kfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Warhammer_40,000:_Ruina_Imperii#Galaxy%20Map), you can see that there are several empty regions in the map. Please leave a message on my talk page detailing where you want your small empire to be located in. 2- It needs some improvement related to the backstory. As you know, Ruina Imperii starts after 560.M48. How was this small empire able to survive and how did it reach to the 48th Millenium? Cheers! [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|''"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 13:49, December 12, 2017 (UTC) Ok Ice. The latest image you have added is both confusing and not well made. Let me handle the maps please. I just want you to select their location on the galaxy map that I have linked to you and send it to me via my talk page. Cheers! [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 04:08, December 13, 2017 (UTC) I also need you to do a proper grammar check and remember that the great rift is closed sometime after M.42. This means that you need to find a better story about how they came to be. I ONCE AGAIN recommend that you say this empire was formed during the New Imperial Revolution. Happy Editing! [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 04:11, December 13, 2017 (UTC) About the stuff i have added well yeah i had a bad map. and warp storms did engulf the sector for 6500 years which would explain isolationist polices at first. i however do thank you for your advice Lune Crackhelm Yours Truely Icestormshadow For the Banished!! 10:42, December 13, 2017 (UTC) IMPORTANT The page has been modified and the necessary checks were - temporarily - made. Please contact me on my talk page about the parts called "LEFT SCRAPPED". You can reach my talk page using my signature. Happy Editing! [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 17:06, December 13, 2017 (UTC) Also, please take note of how the page was edited and things such as heading were applied so that you can use them on other pages that you want to create. Cheers, [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 17:13, December 13, 2017 (UTC) By the way Thanks Lune now what grammar program do i use? Yours Truely Icestormshadow For the Banished!! 18:48, December 13, 2017 (UTC) I recommend Grammarly. I heard it is quite effective and really well made. [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 18:57, December 13, 2017 (UTC) Grammar sorry i didn't look on here. Thanks again as i am not that good a writer. Yours Truely Icestormshadow For the Banished!! 19:03, December 13, 2017 (UTC) Actually, you are really doing good. It's just that people need an extra buff to do it better, you know? It's a good program that'll help you greatly IMO, though you are still a good writer. Keep up the good work! [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 19:05, December 13, 2017 (UTC) Hello ice. I have adjusted the amount of planets under their rule. It will now be added to the rules section that no pocket empire can have more than 4 sub-sectors under their control. Cheers, --[[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 09:47, December 14, 2017 (UTC) Exact Location Hey Ice! I see that you choose Segmentum Pacificus for your empire's location. Below is the RI Galaxy Map, updated to show the devoured regions of Segmentum Pacificus. Please tell below where you want your pocket empire to be located inside Segmentum Pacificus. Happy Editing! [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 13:29, December 14, 2017 (UTC) P.S: Oooops nearly forgot the map lol. Ice, it's Obscurus and I still need you to tell me the exact location on the map. Like place a cross over the location you want it to be or sth. If you don't want to waste time, you can just straight up tell me as well. Cheers, [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 17:47, December 14, 2017 (UTC) Image for the Banished Enclaves Hey Ice! New images are prepared and I will update the Galaxy Map shortly. Choose the one you like the most and place it in the infobox. Polatical map of Banished Empire during Warp storms.png Banished Enclaves 1.png --[[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 15:30, December 15, 2017 (UTC) Cheers ice! So far the article is going really good, but I need to say that it's not a fine idea to put yourself into the article without giving it some thought. Maybe you can write some stuff about the character and then add it to the article? (Also instead of icestormshadow it may be best to call your dude simply Ice. Much cooler in my opinion.) Happy Editing! [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 04:27, December 16, 2017 (UTC) Population Just a little thought here. The population is 100,000 total spread out between 20 worlds. In 40k terms that's an extremely small number when you take into account that, on average, live around 5,000 people on each of their worlds. I would pump up the population to around 100 billion if I were you. Just for reference here, some Hive Worlds, a single planet dedicated to housing people, in the IoM have a population ranging from 1-500 billion. Revan180193 (talk) 15:53, December 20, 2017 (UTC) Re i'm not counting clones, and most of the poeple were already killed by either the old imperium or the Neverborn so they had to start over with a small population Then I would recommend that you add the number of clones under the real population and another thing too, how do the Banished keep the genetic pool for their clones pure? While the Kriegs do create cloned troops they also make use of regular humans in their regiments, therefore always having new templates to clone from. With an uncloned population as small as the Banished have, and that's without subtracting those that would not be qualified as potential soldiers for cloning. An easy work around for this problem would that the Banished found a Dark Age of Technology facility that still function and which either produced clones or purify genes there making it possible to continue cloning the same guy over and over with limited consequences. Of course, access to such tech would most likely draw the attention of all human factions big and small alike. Revan180193 (talk) 13:51, December 24, 2017 (UTC) Ages of Characters Hey Ice! There is an issue with your article and I wanted to bring it up. While the failed experiments sound good and fine, the characters are rather young. I kindly request that you change their ages and make them older a bit (This goes for Ice too. Also, everyone can't be a psyker, so I recommend that you adjust this as well.) Happy Editing! P.S.: Electricity is a weird name for a character, but I'll allow it. [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."]] • 05:28, January 3, 2018 (UTC) Re Ages of Characters First off Savage Orge And Macdonald are not pyskers altough alot of characters worth talking about are. I do plan to change some characters ages but the elemental rogues im going to keep them at 18 and i plan on making more non-pyshics but that will come with time. P.S I Think that i will change that to Storm Yours Truely Icestormshadow For the Banished!! 12:48, January 3, 2018 (UTC) IMPORTANT Notes Hello Ice! The shield cruiser you have written about sounds interesting, however it is a bit Mary sue-ish. Please remove it or adjust it so that it can be destroyed. I also request that you remove some of the ship classes you've added, as a small empire possessing such a grand and diverse navyy is not really possible. However, I think the fleet ks going good, so just remove the ships you haven't written much about. ALSO, IMPORTANT: YOUR ARTICLE NEEDS A GRAMMAR CHECK. I RECOMMEND THAT YOU DOWNLOAD GRAMMARLY, A PROGRAM THAT CAN GREATLY HELP YOU. Cheers, [[User:Lune Crackham|'Lune Crackham']] • [[User_talk:Lune Crackham|"Wicked eyes and wicked hearts deserve neither respect nor mercy."'']] • 05:07, January 6, 2018 (UTC) I already have tried but it won't work :( shield ship will be removed Yours Truely Icestormshadow For the Banished!! 13:53, January 6, 2018 (UTC) the Grammar Check Thank you Revan for grammar checking my article Yours Truely Icestormshadow For the Banished!! 16:32, January 6, 2018 (UTC)